


it's only life after all

by furriendly



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Character Study, Crying, Gen, Homesickness, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, One Shot, Post-Canon, feelings are hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 00:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10978737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furriendly/pseuds/furriendly
Summary: He wasn't made for the pirate life.Pirates were tough. Pirates were proud. Pirates were thieves. Pirates sailed endlessly, calling no place home but the open sea.Link had a home, but it wasn't here.





	it's only life after all

**Author's Note:**

> aka I Project My Anxiety Disorder Onto Link: the fic
> 
> Very gen, but can be read as romantic if you like! Enjoy.

He wasn't made for the pirate life.  
  
Pirates were tough. Pirates were proud. Pirates were thieves. Pirates sailed endlessly, calling no place home but the open sea.  
  
Link had a home, but it wasn't here. His home was the soothing sounds of waves splashing against fine sand beaches. The miniscule village so closely knit they were practically family. Sunny days that were never too hot and moonlit nights that made the waves sparkle, fading seamlessly into the starry sky.

His sister Aryll, bright and curious and unafraid, interrupting him from his naps, begging for an adventure.

(He never minded being woken up. While the sun on his face was a comfort, she was a joy, a constant companion. He hadn't known what loneliness was until she had been taken away from him.)

The home they shared, built for five but occupied by three, pictographs from the family trips to the festivals on Windfall Island adorning the walls, memories of a time when his biggest problem was not having enough allowance to buy all the sweets he wanted.  
  
The familiar wrinkled smile, the soft velvety arms squeezing him tight, the inviting smell of his favorite soup permeating the air (even when he tired of it, he would down his bowl with gusto, just for the creamy moustache on his upper lip that would send Aryll giggling).  
  
Would he ever see it again? Home?  
  
Link sighed, sagging even further against the wooden railing he had been leaning against, lost in his thoughts.  He hadn't been trying to make himself homesick. He loved the ship. The crew, the endless antics, even his chores he did in content.  
  
Most days, he was too busy to think of home. Niko would challenge him in his next made-up contest, Senza would teach him how to navigate by the stars alone, Tetra would tease him until his ears and cheeks were tinged pink (he could not wait for the day his tan would be dark enough to hide his embarrassment).  
  
He shook his head, desperate to stop thinking. He was beginning to feel the all too familiar sting of tears behind his eyes. Crying would do him no good. He used to cry all the time, when he was young-- Grandma encouraged him to let out his emotions, ensured him that there was no shame in feeling, in being human.  
  
As it turned out, he couldn't be a regular human. He had to be brave. He had to leave everything behind to confront danger, again and again, so that no one else had to.  
  
His mission had been too urgent for crying. As soon as his first tears were shed after casting off to save Aryll, Tetra had put a stop to them.

;

 _He forced himself up the gangplank, tears already building in his eyes, the reality of his situation finally hitting him full force. Aryll was_ gone _. Taken. And he was the only one who could get her back,_ would _get her back. No one else was willing to save his sister. These pirates were only a means of transport, and they were only doing it out of guilt. He should count himself lucky they were helping him at all._

_His village stood at the dock, hollering and waving encouragements, wishing him a safe journey and good luck. He raced to the stern of the ship to get a glimpse of his island as they set off, committing what he saw to memory. The cliffs, the beaches, the houses, his grandmother…_

_His eyes widened as he spotted his grandmother, standing just outside their house. He stepped closer, right to the edge of the ship. She was too far away for him to make out her face. And as he realized that she would be alone here, without her two grandchildren for goddesses know how long, his eyes finally spilled over, his breath hitching as he suppressed his sobs. He had to be strong for Grandma. He waved his arms over his head, hoping she would see him, see that he wouldn’t fail, he’d be home soon, so just wait, Grandma--_

  
_"Ugh... How much longer is this going to go on, do you think? Do you have an estimate?" When he turned to her in surprise, she wore an amused smirk. "Are you sure you shouldn't just quit right now? Seriously, think about it."_

_And he had thought about it. But all trains of thought led to the same thing: he didn't have a choice._

;  
  
That was the last time he had let himself cry. 

The sting of unshed tears was growing, and he hugged himself tight. He felt the familiar anxiety bubbling inside him. It was irrational; it was the middle of the night. Everyone was asleep, below deck. He was alone, just him and his thoughts. And yet, his anxiety only grew. His shoulders shook, and he was reminded of a similar moment with the King of Red Lions.

;  
  
_Much later on in his quest, while sailing with the King of Red Lions through the inky black of night, thoughts of Aryll overwhelmed him, and he could not suppress the shuddering of his shoulders and his quiet gasps of breath, anxiety roiling in his chest and clenching on tight to his pounding heart. The King of Red Lions, of course, had noticed, and turned around quizzically._

 _Link grabbed a fistful of his shirt desperately, unable to suppress both his tears and his pounding chest, and began to panic when the King of Red Lions turned to him. He couldn't let him know how weak he was, how underqualified the king’s one chance at saving the Great Sea truly was, how big of a mistake both he and the sword on Link's back had made in choosing him. He wiped desperately at his eyes, don’t cry, don’t cry,_ don’t cry.  
  
_"Breathe, Link." He had commanded. Link startled. He had never heard such a direct order from him before._  
  
_The King of Red Lions turned back around, giving him privacy. "Focus on breathing. Deep and steady. I will steer us."_  
  
_Ashamed, Link gave up his grip on the rudder, sitting on the floor and hugging his knees to his chest. He did as he was told, breathing as evenly as he could despite his shaking frame. The moon was much lower to the horizon by the time he was calm enough to close his eyes and rest, back against the stern, head tilted back, going limp as exhaustion caught up with the young boy._

;

“There you are!” Link shot up at the sound of Tetra approaching, abruptly pulled out of his thoughts. She gave him a hard pound on the back, nearly sending him over the railing. She laughed as he stepped back, panting.

“What, did I scare Mr. Hero?” She mocked. Link stared, unable to answer, still trying to catch his breath. Of course his worst fears would come to fruition. The one person he _cannot_ cry in front of, standing in front of him.

Tetra studied him before letting out a long breath, stepping towards him. “C’mon, deep breaths Link.” A hand came to squeeze his shoulder. Panicking, he backed away.

“I’m fine,” He said quickly.

She rolled her eyes, letting her hand drop. “You’re obviously not. What’s wrong, guy? Did I do something?”

“No,” he said. “I’m fine, really. You surprised me.” He winced, unable to look at her any longer.

Tetra laughed again. “Come now, you’ve been through way worse than a slap on the back. What are you doing up here?”

Beginning to get his breathing under control, he straightened slightly and turned back to the sea, concentrating on his hands’ grip on the railing. “Just thinking. I can’t sleep.”

Tetra hummed. “Me too. I was thinking of going for a swim.”

Link looked to her incredulously. “In the middle of the ocean?!”

She snorted, winking at him. “It was a joke, dummy.”

Link blinked. “Oh,” he said. He looked back to the sea, face hot.

Tetra sighed, leaning on the railing with him. They watched the waves in silence, listening to them spray up against the side of the ship. Link glanced at Tetra to see her eyes were closed. He then watched as she lifted her hands to her bun, undoing it and letting the sun-bleached curls fall to her shoulders. She shook it out before opening her eyes again, immediately noticing Link’s staring. When they made eye contact, Link jumped, immediately looking away. Tetra huffed in amusement.

“Link, I know I’m technically a princess and all, but you don’t have to act like it. It’s just me.” Her voice was the softest he’d ever heard it, and he had to hold his breath to quell the sudden wave of emotion that overcame him. He could feel her watching, waiting.

Slowly, he turned, grimacing, stopping halfway so that he stared at the railing.

She tapped his shin with an extended foot playfully. She whispered, “Look at me? Please?”

Link stiffened, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment, but finally complied, slowly bringing his head up. He was already mortified, the burning in his cheeks only getting hotter.

Instead of the sly grin Link was expecting, however, Tetra only looked concerned. Her eyebrows were drawn together, slightly, and her mouth relaxed. Her eyes were searching, searching for what Link didn’t know. Seemingly coming to a conclusion, she slowly brought a hand to the rail, resting it on top of Link’s.

Link inhaled sharply, eyes now locked with hers. She gave him a small smile, eyebrows raised in question. Link didn’t know how to answer her. He didn’t even know the question. She absently rubbed her thumb along his hand, uncharacteristically patient. Link felt his composure wavering. He bit his cheek, trying to stop his mouth from its violent trembling. His sight glazed over as he felt the tears invade his eyes, threatening to drip out.

He had to look away. He made the mistake of looking to their hands. As he tilted his head down, the beginning of his tears dripped out, plopping right onto Tetra’s hand. He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and finally, _finally_ gave in.

He pitched forward, a loud ragged sob wrenching from his chest. He distantly felt a hand come to his back, rubbing soothing circles, as he cried the hardest he’d ever cried, making up for all the times he held himself back, letting himself feel the raw sadness of everything he went through, all the people he’d lost or left behind. When he thought Aryll was gone forever; when he thought he’d never see his grandmother again; when he had to leave Medli and Makar in those temples, trapped underwater, alone; when he was swept away from the king, his sole travelling companion throughout his journey, as the ocean swallowed him, leaving him trapped in a ruined, forgotten kingdom.

At some point in his breakdown, he had fallen to his knees, still clenching the railing desperately, head ducked down between his arms. Tetra had followed him, letting him ride it out, her heart secretly anguished at the state Link was in. They sat like that together until Link’s sobs turned to uneven hitches of breath, until his eyes felt puffy and sore, until his hands began to ache from how tightly he was clenching them, until his ankles began to protest his weight on top of them.

Carefully, he released his grip on the side of the ship and brought his hands to his lap, wiping his nose on his sleeve with a loud sniffle on the way. Tentatively, he raised his head, peeking at Tetra. She smiled encouragingly as she could, squeezing his shoulder with one hand and using the other to wipe away the tears at the corners of her eyes. Link shuddered, attempting to find his voice.

“I’m suh- ...sorry,” he croaked. His throat was still raw from crying, and he couldn’t stop hiccuping as he tried to even his breathing.

Tetra shook her head firmly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Everyone needs to cry. Even us pirates.” Link couldn’t be sure if “us” included him or not, but he desperately hoped that it did. She dropped her hand from his shoulder. Link shivered. “Can you face me?”

Link complied, shifting on his knees so that he faced her straight on. To his surprise she leaned forward, enclosing him in a light embrace, arms loose enough that he could break away from it if he so desired.

He instantly melted into her arms, bringing his own around her back and squeezing tightly. He couldn’t help but nuzzle his face into her neck, drawing himself as close as possible. Tetra immediately tightened her hug, raising a hand to pet his hair gently. Link could have cried, if he hadn’t just spent all his tears. She meant the world to him, and then some. He tried his best to convey this through their embrace.

Once their knees began to ache, they released the hug, both feeling refreshed. Tetra stood first, offering Link a hand up. He took it gratefully; his legs would not be happy with him in the morning for how he had been sitting.

Morning was nigh, Link realized as he got to his feet. The horizon was tinged pink, the sun having yet to peak out from beneath the water.

Tetra interrupted his musings, speaking in her normal, loud voice. “Welp! Too late to go back to bed. Let’s make breakfast, yeah?” She walked off towards below decks, gesturing for Link to follow, trusting that he would.

And she was right to trust, because he knew he would, to the ends of the earth.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any errors its late and i wrote this in one sitting <:^)
> 
> title is from "closer to fine" by indigo girls


End file.
